


Wounded

by GrumpyJenn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Team as Family, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyJenn/pseuds/GrumpyJenn





	

"You loved her," Ziva heard herself say. She had been watching Tony as he moved automatically through the days, his eyes unfocused and his mouth tight with anger or grief.

This was not the Tony she knew, all crass jokes and preening like a peacock.

"Love," Tony said, pulling her attention back from her circling thoughts.

"Yes, that is what I s-"

" _No_ , Ziva. _Love_. Present tense. Not 'loved'."

Ziva felt a sudden lump in her throat. But she could not let that stop her from telling him how she grieved for him, for his loss. "I understand. I-"

"Do you?" His eyes snapped to hers, blazing with anger, and now he was shouting. "Do you really? A cold Mossad assassin bi-"

"Hey! Out of line, Tony!" It was McGee, rising from his chair and interrupting before Tony could say something he would later regret, and out of the corner of her eye, Ziva could see Gibbs heading toward them, fast.

She held up a hand to stop them, but didn't look away from Tony's face. "Tim, Gibbs, it is all right."

"No, it's not! He can't talk to you like that, Ziva, it's not right!" There was a quiet Gibbs murmur of agreement from behind her and to the left, but both men had stopped moving toward them.

And Tony looked horrified at himself. Maybe at what he had nearly said.

Even though it was true in some ways.

She swallowed hard and said, "Yes, it is. Tony is... wounded. Lashing out as any one would." She took a deep breath and looked over at McGee, holding his gaze until he sat back down in his chair, muttering to himself.

Gibbs backed off.

Ziva looked back at Tony, cocked her head toward the elevator. He followed her into it, silently.

So very unlike him.

She pushed a button at random, then the emergency stop.

"Ziva, I..."

"It is all right, Tony. You heard what I said to them."  _Harah_ , but she was choking up again. "I do understand. I want to help, to let you see that I..." She trailed off, unsure where the sentence was going; English still got her mixed up sometimes.

"How could you understand, Ziva?" Now his voice was quiet, sad, dead-sounding, not angry. "When was the last time you destroyed someone you love?"

Ziva felt tears well up in her eyes, but she blinked them back as best she could. "I..." _Beitsim_ , damn the tears. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I killed Ari."

Tony stared at her for a moment, and she rushed to explain, tripping over her words in an effort to get them out quickly. "I know he was evil, and I am not much better than he, but Tony, he-" The tears welled over and tracked down her face, and now she felt stupid and weak. "He..."

"He was your brother, and you loved him."

She could only nod, and swipe angrily at the tears.

"You're not like him, you know," Tony said, almost clinically.

Ziva shook her head. "I have done horrible things..." she began, and Tony gave a short bark of mirthless laughter.

"So have I. But Ziva..." He took both her hands in his, and she was so mortified that she did not bat his hands away or punch him. She just looked into his face and watched his eyes. "Ziva. when you and I do horrible things, it's our job, something we _have_ to do. Ari..." He shivered slightly, and Ziva remembered that Tony had seen what Ari had done to his friends. "Ari _enjoyed_ hurting people, got pleasure from terrorizing them. That isn't you."

"And it is not you. Or you would not be so bummed in, yes?"

Tony let go of her hands and smiled at her, flipping the switch back to _Go_ without looking at it. "Bummed _out_. And yes."

 


End file.
